2012 has been a vintage year for British sport. Think of Andy Murray’s first Grand Slam victory, Bradley Wiggins winning the Tour de France, and the outstanding performances of British athletes at the Olympics and Paralympics. But, we must not forget that this is not normal. British sport and English football in particular is traditionally associated with mediocrity and under-achievement. This article celebrates and embraces this, outlining what might be the weakest XI that England has produced over the last 20 years.
Goalkeeper: Scott Carson
Was once tipped to be an international goalkeeping superstar. However, it’s fair to say that it never materialised... After showing early promise at Leeds and Liverpool things didn’t really go to plan with England. Instead, he is most renowned for an uncomfortable performance for England against Croatia, including that fumble.
Right-back: Luke Young
Must admit that this was a problem position given Gary Neville’s dominance over much of the period. Micah Richards and Glen Johnson have also proved reliable. Luke Young is chosen largely because he was so anonymous during his England career – so much so that when his international retirement was announced it barely featured in the headlines or entered the consciousness of England fans.
Centre-back: Neil Ruddock
Competent defender but hardly one of the stand-out players from Liverpool’s Spice Boys generation. To say that he was international class would be dubious in the extreme (especially when you think that Steve Bruce never played for England). Only capped the once by England – clearly didn’t take Terry Venables long to work out that Razor wouldn’t win Euro 96 for England.
Centre-back: John Terry (c)
Perhaps my most controversial choice. Chosen primarily as he’s clearly been the worst England captain over the last 20 years. Sacked twice from the job and a huge nuisance at the 2010 World Cup. Plus, I still maintain that had either Jonathan Woodgate or Ledley King had any fitness whatsoever, Terry would only have been capped a few times.
Left-back: Phil Neville
Again, perhaps an odd choice, especially as it’s worth considering that Steve Guppy has an England cap. However, there is some method to my madness. Phil Neville’s been a decent player, especially so in central midfield. He’s dreadful at left-back though and his performance against Romania in Euro 2000 is enough to earn him a place in my XI.
Right midfield: Kieron Dyer
Always had bags of ability but again is another one of those who couldn’t translate club form for England. His debut aside, most of his performances for England were ineffective and unmemorable. Apparently he has 33 international caps. And no, that’s not a typo.
Central midfield: Gavin McCann
Another one of those unmemorable players who was solid but unspectacular at domestic level. Much like Ruddock though, he clearly wasn’t international class. His only cap came during Sven’s first game in charge for England. Worth pointing out that he was chosen ahead of Steven Gerrard for this match…
Central midfield: Jordan Henderson
Even worse value for money for Liverpool than Andy Carroll has been so far (and that takes some doing). This makes it all the more incredible that Jordan Henderson has played tournament football for England. Still time for him to deliver on his full potential but surely Hodgson will have the sense to give Wilshere and Rodwell a chance first?
Left midfield: Lee Hendrie
Had established a decent reputation for himself at England U-21 level but it’s fair to say that this was not sustained. His time at Aston Villa showed that he had real potential but his career is more renowned for disciplinary issues and off-the-field problems. Little wonder then that his England career lasted less than 20 minutes. Aged 35, he currently plays for the world-renowned Tamworth FC.
Striker: David Nugent
Based on stats alone, you’d think I was being very harsh. One cap, one goal. However, let’s remember that his goal came against Andorra, and from about two inches out. When leaving Preston he tried to engineer a move to Everton. David Moyes said no. At Portsmouth, Harry Redknapp tried to sell him soon after buying him. Not good enough for mid-table Premiership teams yet deemed good enough for England…
Michael Ricketts
Called up to the England team off the back of scoring 15 goals for Bolton in the first half of the 2001/02 season. Looked horribly out of his depth though during his first and only match for England. Also worth bearing in mind that the 01/02 season is the only one where scored 10 or more goals. Prolific indeed.
Subs
Rob Green, Steve Guppy, John Scales, Seth Johnson, Fraizer Campbell, Kevin Davies
